By now you are probably sick of lists. You've read about the top 10 of this, the top 100 of that--the worst, the best, and everything in between. I even saw a list of the best lists. Well, I hope you can stomach one more: my list of the top 10 negotiating tips for meeting planners.

Everything Is Negotiable 1. You won't get anything unless you ask for it. Negotiators often fail to raise an issue because they don't think they have a chance of success. Well, you might. Don't be afraid. There is a corollary to the rule: Sometimes you get what you don't ask for. In other words, not only do good negotiators ask for everything that they want, they also make sure that they don't end up with something that they don't want. Always be explicit about what you want and what you don't want.

2. Never negotiate against yourself. Once you make an offer, always wait for a response before making another offer. The response can take the form of an acceptance, a rejection, or a counter-offer. By waiting, you avoid the possibility of rejecting your own offer and making further concessions in a revised offer. In addition, revising your offer encourages the other side, consciously or unconsciously, to hold off its response in hopes of getting a better offer. Finally, if you counter your own offer, you lose out on the opportunity to learn from the other side's response.

3. Get it in writing. As Samuel Goldwyn once said: "An oral agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on." When parties fail to live up to an agreement, written proof of the negotiators' intent is critical. First, written agreements avoid "he said, she said" bickering and help the people who are going to resolve the dispute (representatives of the parties, judges, juries, arbitrators) know what was intended. Second, written agreements are helpful if the original negotiators are no longer around. People do change jobs ... and with great frequency in the meeting planning world. Third, written agreements are proof that you, as the negotiator, did your job correctly.

People Don't Plan to Fail, They Fail to Plan 4. Prepare. To paraphrase an old cliche, the three most important things about a negotiation are preparation, preparation, and preparation. Learn as much as possible about the needs and wants of your organization and, just as importantly, about the needs and wants of the other side.

5. Determine the other side's authority. It is very different negotiating with someone who can make a deal than it is with someone who must go back to a boss before an agreement can be reached. For example, when negotiating with someone with authority, the goal is to reach agreement. It doesn't matter if the other side understands your position as long as they've agreed with it. But, when negotiating with someone without authority, you'll need to be sure that person not only understands your position, but also understands the rationale behind your position well enough to convince someone else of its merits. My advice is to deal directly with a deal-maker, but it's not always possible.

6. Know your bottom line. It is critical to understand what you want before sitting down at the negotiating table. That way, when you get to that point, you'll know it's time to stop. I've seen lots of event planners continue negotiating beyond what they need and, as a result, end up with nothing. Even more important, know your bottom line. This prevents you from agreeing to something that in reality is unacceptable. If you don't establish that bottom line, you will never know when you've got an acceptable deal.

7. Establish a fall-back position. Know your best alternative if you face an unsuccessful negotiation. Without a fall-back plan, you are left with no alternative but to negotiate until a deal is reached, even if that agreement is unacceptable. Having a reasonable option in hand puts you in a position of strength, empowering you to walk away from a negotiation.

Real World Problems 8. Listen to the other side. Good negotiators tend to be good listeners and good communicators, not just good talkers. By listening, observing behavior and body language, and being attentive, you can learn things that will further your interests. Sometimes that means simply asking good, open-minded questions. You'll learn more that way than by cross-examining the other side. Also, be willing to brainstorm and explore options. Finally, be empathetic. The person on the other side may have real problems that can affect the negotiations (a difficult boss, constraints on what they can say or do, and so on). By showing some empathy, there's a better chance of working to address the issues. There is never a need to make the person on the other side part of the problem and, as a result, to personalize the negotiations. Think of the negotiation as a problem that both sides are working to solve together.

9. There is no substitute for discussion. Many people don't like disputes, don't like to argue, and, therefore, sometimes fail to discuss important issues. Negotiations do not have to be--and should not be--arguments, but avoiding tough issues is not productive.

10. Avoid form contracts. To me, a form contract is inconsistent with a good negotiation. How could the form anticipate the outcome? Form contracts merely drive negotiators toward a predetermined (by one side) result or take an elegant negotiation and re-shape it into something ugly. In addition, to avoid form contracts, all written agreements must be easily understood. If the draft contract isn't straightforward and 100 percent reflective of the negotiation, it is not a good contract. Finally, never ever sign anything that you have not read completely and understood fully.