“My attendees come to town with $10 and the Ten Commandments in their pockets — and they don't break either one.” — religious conference organizer

“The brain will absorb only what the butt can endure.” — unknown

“I think they should consider giving Oscars for meetings: Best Meeting of the Year, Best Supporting Meeting, Best Meeting Based on Material from Another Meeting.” — William Goldman, screenwriter, novelist.

“Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life: violence and committee meetings.” — George F. Will, columnist and political commentator

“When I was a graduate student at Harvard, I learned about showers and central heating. Ten years later, I learned about breakfast meetings. These are America's three great contributions to civilization.” — Mervyn A King, professor, London School of Economics

“A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.” — Fred Allen, comedian, vaudeville juggler

“This place certainly reeks of hospitality and good cheer. Or maybe it's this cheese.” — Jean Harlow, actress

“Failure to plan, on your part, does not constitute an emergency, on my part” — unknown, submitted by Rita Pierson, California Physical Therapy Association

The ABCs of meetings: Assume nothing; Be prepared for anything; and Confirm everything” — unknown, submitted by Louise Danielenko, CMP