Sung to the tune of “Cabaret,” these parody lyrics to “ The Buffet” provided a tickle-the-funny-bone moment in the closing act of The Association, an original play by PCI Communications, produced for ASAE's 2007 Annual Meeting and Exposition.

If you have members you want to attract
I've got the perfect way.
You can get loads of folks to come.
Give 'em a free buffet.

Planning a program?
Stop kidding yourself
It isn't the repartee.
Just use this simple rule of thumb:
Give 'em a free buffet.

A steamship round,
Some cordon bleu,
It's for the key lime pie, they're waiting.
Can't you see they're salivating?

Content is key but don't give in to stress.
Hear my communiqué:
If you want “wow” just start with “yum.”
Give 'em a free buffet!

I used to think that it would be enthrallin'
To have Tom Peters, Hillary, or Colin.
As keynotes they are willing and they're able,
But just watch the stampede when free food hits the table.

Our jam-packed exhibition is a winner,
But walk the floor and soon you'll want some dinner.
Experience has led me to conclude
It's fundamentally …all about the food.

Ain't it grand to know that at the end of day
There's a table piled with cake and crème brûlée?

Content is key but don't give in to stress.
Hear my communiqué:
Ne'er to a plated meal succumb;
If they want food, let's give 'em some!
Give 'em a free buffet!

Written by Robert Sprague, senior vice president and chief strategy officer, and produced by Sam Del Brocco, CEO, PCI Communications Inc.