10. You find yourself reselling your excess rooms on eBay.

9. You find the idea of Spam on a stick to be newly hip for appetizers, in a retro sort of way.

8. You change the theme of your final night gala to “Titanic” so you can reuse décor leftover from last weekend's prom at the hotel.

7. Your food-and-beverage budget increase is inversely proportional to the stock market average for the week.

6. You wanted to hire the CEO of GM as your keynoter, but he was too busy trying to sell the corporate jet on Craigslist to take on any new speaking engagements.

5. Attendees volunteer to have sponsors' names tattooed on their foreheads in exchange for free registration.

4. A tchotchke reseller sets up shop outside the convention hall and makes a mint on used mugs. You slap yourself for not having thought to contract for half the proceeds.

3. Hey, wouldn't it be fun to hold a walkathon from the airport to the headquarters hotel instead of having boring old shuttles?

2. “A group that bails together, bails out together” — what a great mantra for teambuilding when the boat you booked for the harbor cruise reception springs a leak.

1. Tofurkey: The other “other” white meat

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