We have a new president and thus far, no magic has occurred. I don't know what everybody expected but no seas have parted, no miracle has been witnessed, and no star has appeared over the White House. Our new president has a huge job ahead of him and I wish him the best, but until everything gets figured out, it will be up to each one of us to decide how we are going to cope with the immediate future.
Now, I know I am not the president. I am not even the governor of Illinois. I don't even have that much hair. All I am is a guy with an idea, and just like many other great ideas, my idea will seem a little goofy at first, but you may end up thinking I am a genius.
Here it is. When times are particularly difficult, the best remedy is to add more laughter. I am totally serious here. Laughter is one of the few things that we do that not only feels good and is good for us, but it is free. You can laugh as much as you want in any 24-hour period and it will not cost you a cent. There is no other offer like this on the planet. You could literally laugh from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed and you won't even have to dip into the change on your nightstand. It's a beautiful thing.
You may have already laughed at something you read in this article and if you did, you have already received a free bonus for the day. But I can see that there are still skeptics among you who think that laughing is a frivolous waste of time. To you I say, “You are correct, sir.” Laughter is a frivolous waste of time, and that's the point. It disconnects you from painful reality for a few seconds and allows you to appreciate all of the good things around you. That is why I am encouraging you to try laughter as an aid in getting through these tough times. And to help you in this area, I have created a Laughter Stimulus Package.
Step No. 1 in my Laughter Stimulus Package is to supply every American with the laughter essentials of 1) a rubber chicken, 2) fake dog poop, and 3) a whoopee cushion. With these three items, you can evoke a laugh any time of the day or night. If you have an iPhone, you can immediately download a free app of whoopee cushion sound effects to take with you wherever you go. It's a great way to break the ice in a crowded elevator and loads of fun at a wedding.
Step No. 2 is for each and every American to make at least one other person laugh every day. You can tell somebody a joke, relate a funny story, or write something funny on your Facebook page. I recently joined the millions on Facebook and find it a wonderful way to generate laughter among my friends, many of whom I do not know and will never meet.
Step No. 3 is to learn from history. It's been said that those who do not learn from history are destined to repeat it. This was certainly the case with my cousin Elmer. He flunked history three times and had to repeat it.
Look to leaders in history and you'll discover they used laughter to help solve some of the most difficult problems of their day. George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie.” And Richard Nixon said, “Who do you think I am, George Washington?” Even Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev once said “с днем рождения!” Since I don't speak Russian, I have no idea what that means, but I'll just bet it's something funny. And then there's that famous guy, Anonymous, who said, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs at you.”
I urge you to apply these tenets of my Laughter Stimulus Package to your own lives and to call your Congresspeople and encourage them to pass this bill into effect immediately. They can send the check for the idea directly to me.
Dale Irvin is The Professional Summarizer™. As your meeting emcee, he will watch, listen, and learn throughout your conference while delivering periodic comedy updates on what has just happened. For more information and to subscribe to the free Friday Funnies, visit www.daleirvin.com or call (800) 951-7321.