Airlines to charge for fuel?

No, it's just satire from the fabulous Andy Borowitz's Borowitz Report, but it's edging so close to today's reality with the airlines that it's a little too spooky to laugh too hard. A snip:

In the latest cost-cutting move intended to rescue the beleaguered airlines industry, representatives of the nation’s major carriers announced today that they would no longer offer complimentary jet fuel but that such fuel would be available for purchase on board most domestic flights.





American Airlines spokesperson Carol Foyler announced the company’s decision to institute a “fuel for purchase” option at a press conference in Chicago, arguing that such a move was “long overdue.”...





The airlines spokesperson said that once a flight has departed, flight attendants will ask the passengers to chip in for the fuel necessary to reach their final destination.





“If you’re on a transcontinental flight, the choice will be the consumer’s,” she said. “Do you want to go all the way from New York to Los Angeles, or will you settle for Cleveland?”

Happy Monday!