Liquid and goo sellers protest

Today's Borowitz Report is a hoot of a satiric piece. Here's a bit from it:

While spirits were high among the marchers who gathered for the Washington protest, there was no escaping the fact that these are tough times for the nation's traveling liquid and gel salespeople.





Davis Klujian, who became a liquid and gel salesperson shortly before the new FAA rules were put into effect, calls his career move "an example of totally sucky timing" that he now regrets.





"I had only been selling liquids and gels for two weeks before this came down," Mr. Klujian said. "Before that, I was a sharp metal object salesman."