Meeting Planners are always looking for interesting destinations, many of which are featured in this magazine. I have an idea for your next meeting that is both exotic and historic: Visit the pyramids of Egypt for a rollicking good time.

The pyramids have been around for thousands of years and were originally built for the ancient pharaohs. In addition to owning everything and everybody, the pharaohs could pass any laws that they wanted to, including zoning laws. This is how they were able to build the pyramids so close to the tourist bus stop. Pharaohs also had the opportunity to design their signature buildings where they would be launched into the afterlife. Today we have the same kinds of things, but they are called Presidential libraries.

Geometry was very popular in ancient Egypt and was the No. 1 career choice in all of the universities, ranking ahead of charioteer and prophet. Everybody and his brother wanted to learn more about shapes and sizes. Egyptians are the first people who actually tried to fit a square peg into a round hole.

The very first pyramid was made by Aptomoken Hotokep, a junior high school student who made it for a science fair. While other kids did projects about preparing for a plague of frogs, little Aptomoken created the first pre-fab housing idea. The pharaoh immediately hired the lad to be the new city planner and Aptomoken was soon spending taxpayer money and taking bribes.

The most difficult part of the actual building of the pyramids was the paperwork. Imagine over 100,000 workers on the project at any given time and your mind boggles at the headaches HR had to endure. This was before the time of the copy machine and the cappuccino maker, which made life difficult. It was also before the time of political correctness, so they hired undocumented slaves.

Slavery was not an enviable vocational choice back then, but it was one of the few that offered full-time employment.

The most challenging part of building a pyramid was the roof, primarily because it didn't have one. Without a roof, there was no place to install gutters, which is why the pyramids have suffered so much weather damage over the years. Also, since there was no roof, there was no place to attach a TV antenna. That is why all of the pyramids were equipped with cable.

Since the only intended tenants of the pyramid were going to be dead, no thought was given to plumbing, heating, or AC. This made them easier to construct because fewer unions would be involved. All that really needed to be done was to cut huge stones in precise shapes and stack them together. It looked easy on papyrus, but it actually took a lot of work.

Eventually the pyramids rose over the Egyptian desert, and pharaohs across the land were dying to get into them. Today, the pyramids are filled to capacity so there are no available rooms, but you can still rent out the nearby Sphinx for parties, conferences, and lovely photo opportunities.




Dale Irvin is a professional summarizer who has added a new dimension to many financial and insurance meetings. For booking information, contact Ruth Levine at Speak Inc.: (858) 457-9880.